The Flush

For the past couple months, I've been having an ear problem. Off and on, for a couple days at a time, my ear just starts pounding, some sort of mystery liquid just floats around up there driving me crazy and won't come out, and I catch myself flexing my jaw in public, making Quasimodo face at people, head tilted and mouth wide, while I'm talking to them. I don't like going to the doctor, especially here, since I know that nosocomial infections are bad in the states, but in a Filipino hospital, one can only imagine the germs that you might pick up in one of those musty hallways with thousands of babies screaming. I just figure I should take my chances with what I have, instead of monkeying around with trying to fix what's wrong and possibly getting a disease of higher severity. That was the plan until my earache came back in full force this week, making me wince whenever a light breeze would find its way into my ear canal. Reluctantly, I walked out to the little concrete waiting shed to standby for the next passing jeep. Fifteen minutes later, I boarded. An hour and a half and 50 pages of my latest book later, I was downtown Tacloban at the receptionist's desk asking for an appointment. It was a Tuesday, so I figured it wouldn't be a tall order. I got my number, gave them my phone number to ring me when ready, and waited 3 ½ hours for the appointment when I was called by the little receptionist. I hurried back to their office and gingerly set down in an examination chair while the doctor began by telling me how small my ear canal is, how all Americans seem to have really small ear canals. I didn't even try for logic.

The doctor then proceeded to mix up some fluids and then shoot them with a syringe into my ear. Now I've come to find out that ear flushing is a common practice for a lot of people, that it's almost routine for some. However, for me, this was a new experience and I found the soothing sensation of warm sterile cleansing fluids in my ears to be almost erotic. After 2 or 3 rinses, the doctor exclaimed, and grabbed forceps and after a painful tug, pulled out a relatively huge ball of pus and ear fungus that had been accumulating for some time. Now an ear nose and throat doctor sees a whole bunch of gross stuff, but this dime sized ball of crap really surprised her, probably helped to remind her of the little joys that got her into the business in the first place. Immediately following the flush, I was able to hear things that I haven't heard out of my left ear in some time. The doctor said I have a bacterial and fungal infection, that the fungal roots are pretty deep, and I can't swim for the next couple months, (at least I can't submerge my headJ). I now have this daily wash that I mix up and shoot up into my ear with a syringe. I should have noticed that it had gotten that bad, but I guess we just get used to mediocrity and mild discomfort when it does not present an overt encumbrance to our daily lives.

Now I was thinking that at this point, I could take this post in a number of directions, I could relate the ear problem to the current political situation and how we need to just realize the problem, make hard choices and go to a flat tax with a new deal sort of thing, talk about the need to push against becoming satisfied with sub-par, but I think that would be taking my ball of earwax and pus a little far. I'm just going to suggest that if anyone gets the chance this week to get your ears flushed, just make the trip, set the appointment, and get it done. You'll be glad you did, I guarantee it. Seriously, take off work, or school, use a sick day, or just play hookie, and go pay somebody to clean out your ears, and let me know how it goes.