No Tape For You!

Yesterday,like some of the days here, I sat at my office desk at the Municipal Agriculture Office, reading, entering in the journal, waiting for something to happen. I finally got bored, and decided to get on the computer, plug in my wireless modem, try my luck at service, and pull in my email net and see if I had caught anything. I pulled up to the desk, and plugged the computer in, when nothing occurred. The outlet fell out of the wall, having been disconnected after it was chewed by a rat. Knowing now where the extension cord is, I plugged it in, and rolled it in from the adjacent room and the one outlet in the office that works.
After plugging the computer in, it hummed and purred as it turned on and did what computers do. After successfully booted, I jiggled the mouse to scroll to the internet option, but nothing happened, the movement of the mouse didn’t register, so I assumed that the mouse was unplugged, and checked the back of the computer, just to see that everything was as it should be, the mouse firmly plugged in. However when I then picked the mouse up to check under it for an obstructed wheel, I saw that the cord of the mouse was cut clean, several bite marks around the cut, all indicating that yet another rat had done it’s work overnight. I got to work, cutting wires, twisting the whites with whites, the greens with greens, the reds with reds, and had established all of the connections, but, being the safety conscious American I am, I had to dress the wounds with electrical tape, which led me on a journey throughout the municipal offices to find someone with 6 inches of electrical tape to lend. I went first to the engineers office, no tape, then to the municipal planning office: no tape, then to the Assessor’s office: no tape, then to the accountants office: no tape, then to the barangay officials office: no tape, then to the police station: no tape, and finally, I saw a man who looked resourceful walking around the parking lot and asked him, and he said that the municipal budget officer had electrical tape. I went to the budget office, and asked the first person I saw if there was electrical tape available. Without looking, he said no, that there was no electrical tape, while a kind woman walked from behind, a small roll of black electrical tape in tow a friendly smile on her face.
So, I taped the spliced wires like the cautious person I am, and got on the internet, scrolled around a little more than usual, making full use of a mouse that I had previously taken for granted.
Then last night, I attended the mayor’s inauguration, an event that was scheduled for six p.m., but that started at around 8, after an hour long mass that started at 7:00. There were over a thousand plastic chairs set out, and a stage for the speeches, dances, and oath taking in front of the municipal hall. The stage, made from coconut lumber and marine plywood, was adorned with a 8 x 12 foot banner with the Mayor's face in one corner, the waterfall here, that has been dry from El Nino for some time in the other, and the words the words "Inaugural Celebration" in big, formal letters. I sat with selena by the big statue of Jose Rizal, national hero, behind me was about 50-2 liter bottles full of tuba, and 30 or 40 cases of san mig beer. Behind the cases set a monk-looking man in slippers and his Sunday finest sitting as guard of the tuba, since this is the stash most likely to be stolen at such events. Then came the food, 200 kilos of karabao, 10 roast pigs, and 200 halves of chicken, along with coconut salads, reef cake which is a concoction of mango, jello, pineapple, papaya, and nestle cream, and some other desserts, none of which I had room for.
All of the food was really good, I didn’t have much of the karabao, since the municipal treasurer came up early in the evening and showed me her aching arm from where she had repeatedly cut the 500 pounds of karabao into eatable pieces with a big paper cutter from the office, you know those big cleaver-type paper cutters in libraries, yeah that. Anyways, since I trust roast pig the most here, (and it's delicious), I got as much of that as I could. Selena and I stayed through the mass, the many speeches, the dances, new York new York was one of these, complete with umbrellas and hats and all, and we finally left after a few glasses of tuba and the inaugural address at 10;30 by the mayor. We left as discreetly as possible out the back, but two white people lumbering about the thousand Filipinos, well, you get the idea. Since there were no jeeps or trikes at 10:30 at night, selena and I walked the 3 kilometers back home in the dark, the trees, houses, lizards and frogs obscured by the night, and we were left with universal stars, darkness, and silence, the great equalizers. The walk was beautifully serene.
This morning, I came into work, looked around, and saw no one. I then stopped and heard a faint repeating hum. Looking over the side of my supervisor’s desk, I found mano butch, lying across three chairs, sleeping soundly, still in the same cincinatti Bengals hat and Abercrombie shirt as last night. Understanding the pain he would be feeling in a little bit, I walked to the bakery down the street and bought the best looking 5-peso roll, and filled up a Tupperware with clean water.
I’m able to tell everybody about this, because of the working outlet, which is attached to the extension cord, which is attached to the computer, with the wireless modem, and the working mouse….and the electrical tape.