If you're anything like me, you don't see life as a linear path of goals, achievements, and a constantly upgraded CV. It's a puzzle, and the pieces that fit right now might not be the pieces that fit tomorrow, or next year, and we have to continue to adapt to what life has given us to work with. Familiarity is nice, and it's easy, but it doesn't help us to find the highest and best use for our lives. Over the past couple of years, I've run away from familiarity like the plague, looking not for that which is easy, but that which is right. There's a few friends I've met who would swear I'm crazy, and, honestly, I'm more scatter-brained than most anyone you'll ever meet, but I'll assure you I'm not crazy. I just want to squeeze the sweet nectar out of this infinitesimal blink that we'll spend on earth.
I took a risk recently and I zoomed out as far as I could and looked at my situation, and decided to take a gamble, and buy a house not where my work is, but at home, just up the road from the nursing home where my dad resides. Granted, I do some long drives up and down the road a few days a week now, but I'm home, and I'm going to sit with my dad more now, as he looks at the end of life in a real way, and, unlike some of the other folks he lives with, his family won't forget him. For the past few years, I've hopped up and down the road, spending weekends at home with family, and working weekdays near Washington D.C. Now, due to some very understanding people, and Grace, (with an uppercase G,) I've gotten the chance to be present during this time, and cling to these deep roots while still doing very consequential, satisfying work on Environmental Policy.
This home where I'm at is perfect for me now, the right puzzle piece, but I accept that it might not fit in the future, at which point I'll find a new piece. Only Grace could have afforded such a good fit at the right time, and my goal now is never to forget the fortune I've got in every breath, every superficial toil I encounter.
With the Grace I've been given, I'm charged with continuing to live with as much integrity and strength as I can muster, so, again, I find myself questioning friends, work, and past times, to get rid of the excess. A new chapter requires a new mindset in so many ways, so I feel it necessary to rework some things, and start things afresh. Instead of talking about what I've done or been or experienced in the past, I want to start over, with a new resume, a clean slate, and not to rely on what I think I knew, but what I know now, and what these hands, not those hands, can create. Imagine if there weren't any resumes or lists of credentials, or mindless diplomas, but just the fruits of our work and lives to show what we could accomplish.
So, in the interest of moving into a new chapter, this will be the last of petespitstop. I started this blog to document a wonderful Peace Corps adventure, and it's become much more, but, that experience is over, and this seems like a confusing venue to continue my writing on environmental and peace issues. It's been a great resource for me to share in the past, and blogging will continue as a great resource in the future, but this particular blog was borne out of a puzzle piece that doesn't fit anymore. This blog has captured some great experiences, but those experiences were then, and this time, this piece, is now. Thanks to everybody who's checked the blog out in the past, and I encourage anyone who's interested to visit my more focused blog, Environmental Justice Junky. As you'll see, I haven't posted there yet, but it will be where I go to share thoughts about current environmental public policy issues, sustainability issues, and concerns about those things most important to a healthy world.
No comments:
Post a Comment