In addition to leaving the heat, the aggravating rainstorms that get your clean laundry wet, the periodic blackouts, and sketchy public transportation, in about 8 weeks I'll be leaving a non-functional toilet behind that has plagued me for 2 years now. Indoor plumbing is less than dependable here in the Philippines, and about 80 percent of the public establishments still have toilets that you have to flush with a bucket of water, not with a handy little lever as we are accustomed to in the developed world. Whether you are in a hospital or a coffee shop, restrooms will have A) no toilet paper, B) a bucket of water and C) a big dipper to wash off your you-know-what when you get done with you-know-what.
Anyways, I would love to be blessed with that situation at home, but instead, we have a toilet that cannot even be flushed with a bucket. That's right, every single trip to the bathroom, you have to plunge everything away. I don't understand it, it's like they put a 1-inch pipe on the bottom of a toilet, like anything would go down that, and then, to top it off, they encased all of the pipes in concrete so that even if you wanted to fix something, there is little chance that you ever could. I'm serious, not embellishing this situation one single bit.
I broke the plunger about 5 months ago. Since then, not being able to plunge directly with the jagged broken plastic end of the apparatus, I have been using a wooden spoon over the top, to dissipate the force of the broken handle and make it easier to use, since I can never remember to just buy another plunger at the market, what with all the people looking at me and asking me, "Sir, do you want Bananas?" or "Sir, do you want fresh fish?" or, "Where are you going, Sir?" or "American!" or "Hey, Joe!" I usually find that no matter how long, the market experience has taken long enough, and I hurry back to Bag End where the hobbits hide away waiting for another adventure.
Moving on, I remembered to buy a plunger today. It's a locally made plunger, from tire rubber and with a wooden handle. It cost me 70 pesos, (I bargained it down from 75.) It's a good plunger. Now, instead of broad, decisive blows to the toilet bowl, I have been utilizing the rescue breathing ratio of 5 soft blows and then I step away for 3 seconds and listen for breathing. It's been working so far and I think that I might have a system now to last me for my final 8 weeks of dealing with my irritable toilet.
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